I Feel A Song Coming On

Another little song parody for you.  Not the entire song, just a few verses.  This is to the tune of, "Santa, Baby":

Spanko, baby,
Kindly put me over your knees
Yes, please
Been an awfully bad girl
Spanko, baby
So spank my naughty bottom tonight

Spanko, baby
Just pull my panties down if you dare
Quite bare
Really got this coming
Spanko, baby
So spank my naughty bottom tonight

Spanko, baby
The wooden paddle's waiting for you
Aim true
Don't forget the sit-spot
Spanko, baby
And spank my naughty bottom tonight

The Discussion

  "Of course we can talk about this....

  "And this is the way I talk about things with a misbehaving wife who breaks the household rules!"

Happy Holiday, USA!

"Okay, okay, I promise!  I'll never serve Tofurkey again!!  (But can I at least keep wearing this politically incorrect but sexy outfit?)"

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fellow Americans!

2 Broke Girls

There's a whole lot of bottom-smacking going on in the Oct. 7th  CBS TV show, 2 Broke Girls--very light, to be sure, but still there.  It's Season 3, episode 3, and it's no surprise that the episode is titled, "2 Broke Girls And The Kitty Kitty Spank Spank".

(Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs as Max and Caroline of 2 Broke Girls)

In the episode, Max wants to take in a stray cat, bur roommate Caroline insists that they try to find it a better home.  One of the people they try is the owner of the diner they work in, Han.

(Diner owner Han, played by Matthew Moy)

Han is taking inventory in the kitchen.  Max asks him if he'd want to adopt a stray cat who, among other things, likes to be spanked on the bottom while you say his name.  Han, still working, can't imagine why anyone would like that.  He then bends over to count items on a lower shelf.  Max decides to demonstrate, and she swats Han 5 times, saying with each swat, "Kitty.....kitty.....kittykittykitty".  The look on Han's face afterward is priceless.  I think maybe the appeal of it starts to dawn on him.

Later, on their way out of the kitchen, Max does the same 5 swats to Caroline--two slow, and then three together, while again saying, "Kitty....kitty....kittykittykitty".  Caroline giggles and says something to the effect of, "That does feel kind of nice."  (I'm working from memory, so any quotes are going to be inexact.  Sorry about that.)

Still later in the show, Han finds Max leaning on a counter.  He walks up behind her, and you can guess what he does, only instead of "kitty" he uses her name, calling her "Maxie".


Then, when he's done, he turns around and bends over, assuming it's his turn.  Max's response to Han is to tell him that 1) She now owns the diner, and 2) He should NEVER do that again.  Apparently Max can dish it out, but she can't take it--or, more likely, she can take it, but not from Han.  Not ever.

There is one final incident at the very end of the show when everything has been resolved.  Max once again swats Caroline on the butt, to the same tune of "Kitty...kitty...kittykittykitty".  Caroline again winds up giggling and wonders out loud, "Why do I like that?"  (I'm sure all the readers of this blog could tell her.)

You can, I'm sure, find the episode online, or find clips of it on YouTube.  Or--as I always say--check with Chross's Blog.  If he doesn't have it at the moment, he probably will at some point in the future.

Oh, yeah...at one point in the show, Max is actually holding the stray cat and gives him the bottom-spanking treatment.  The cat seems unimpressed.

Photo Caption Fun

  "Oddly enough, this is exactly how the girls looked a half-hour later when they lined up and bent over to be paddled by the school disciplinarian for this incident..."

Spankable Bottom Of The Week

The Minnesota Vikings football team has absolutely sucked this year.  I mean, they've been horrible.  The defense can't stop anybody, we have a starting QB who, as near as I can tell, isn't anywhere near being an NFL-caliber quarterback (he makes an accurate long pass about once every 5 games), our star running back has been hurting and not running like he's capable of doing.....I could go on, but it would only make me crazy.

The only good thing about this football season is that we played a Thursday night game not too long ago.  Yes, we actually won that game, but I was actually more interested in the lovely lady who sang the theme song for the show.

I did a search on Google and found out her name is Priyanka Chopra, an actress from India who is now turning her focus to music.  Here's another picture:

I was all set to pronounce her Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week--but then, thanks to the vagaries and quirks of search engines, while browsing for pictures of Priyanka I came across some photos of  this lady:

Her name is Sherlyn Chopra.  She, too, is an actress from India and has appeared in Playboy magazine, one of the first women from India to do so.  Here's another photo:

I was about to change my mind and name her as Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week--but then, thanks to the vagaries and quirks of search engines, while perusing pictures of Sherlyn I came across this picture of a lady named Parineeti Chopra, who not only is an actress from India but is also a cousin of Priyanka Chopra:

Look--I'm a busy man.  I don't have time to chase down every thread that a search engine throws at me.  So, here's the deal:  if you're of legal age, an actress from India, and your last name is "Chopra"--you're Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week.

That should cover it......

Pixie's Got A Brand New Blog

Remember this woman?

Of course you do.  It's everybody's favorite punished brat, Amber "Pixie" Wells.  And I'm happy to announce that she's started a brand new blog!

It's called, Amber Pixie Wells, and the subheading reads, Pixie's Thoughts On Spanking....And Everything Else.  The plan is for the blog to be a place where she can discuss whatever she wants to discuss.  Naturally, a lot of that will be spanking related, but she reserves the right to post about whatever she wants--for instance, the pies she baked for Thanksgiving dinner,  If you've read my profile (and if you have, thank you!) it's the same idea as I had for this blog.  I didn't want to be limited as to what I posted.  If I wanted to talk spanking, fine, I did that.  But if I wanted to talk about the Minnesota Vikings football season, I could do that, too.  By not limiting myself, I'm able to share more and let people get to know me a bit better.  The same goes for Pixie.

She's not abandoning her old blog, btw.  It's still there, but now it'll be an extension of what she does on the Punished Brats  site with Pixie's Archives.

I've added a link to her new site in the blog roll under the heading, "Blogs I Read Daily".  Be sure to drop by and tell her what you think of the new blog.  Also, while you're there, read some of the older posts and especially those about "Cause For Paws".  Pixie and Lilly Anna are trying to raise money for the animal shelter they've supported in the past.  Read up on it, and if you feel so inclined, you can read all about how you can make a donation.  It's well worth it.

Welcome back, Pixie!

Spankable Wonder Bottom Of The Week

It was announced this past week that the next Superman movie would not only include Batman, played by Ben Affleck, but would also have Wonder Woman as well!

If it were up to me, the casting here would be a no-brainer.  I've always thought that actress Daniela Ruah of the CBS show, "NCIS: LOS ANGELES" would make a great Wonder Woman.

I mean, seriously--tell me she wouldn't be a perfect fit for the Wonder Woman head band and a pair of star-spangled hot pants.

However, Hollywood seldom, if ever, consults with me when it comes to the casting of movies.  The role of Wonder Woman went to actress Gal Gadot.  Here's a photo:

Needless to say, she automatically becomes Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week.  Granted, it seems a little odd to do that.  I mean, who'd want to spank Wonder Woman?

Oh, yeah....those guys......

Oh, Holy Crap

This blog doesn't have many recurring features, but it does have a few.  "Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week" is the latest.  There's also "Photo Caption Fun" where I'll take a spanking picture from the net and try to think of something funny to add in the way of dialogue or a description.  There's also a long-standing tradition of song parodies.  (And when I say, "long-standing", I mean I just made that part up.)

Since it's the Christmas season and Christmas songs are everywhere, the idea for a parody popped into my head the other day.  It's not a complete song--no multiple verses and choruses.  It was originally just a phrase that popped into my head, and I expanded it to a verse from a Christmas carol.  I hope you enjoy it.

(to the tune of, "O Holy Night")

Oh, holy crap

I'm gonna get a spanking

This is the night that he said that I would

I screwed up bad

Forgot to do the banking

Hubby's not pleased

And I'm gonna get it good

There is no hope

He's reaching for the hairbrush

He calls my name

I know what happens next

Over his knees

He starts to spank me soundly

Oh gawd that hurts

It really stings, my butt's on fire

No!  Stop!  I'm SOR-RY!

Oh crap!

Oww holy crap!

Taylor Swift--Maybe....?

Singer/songwriter Taylor Swift is not one to sit back and rest on her laurels.

Making albums, touring, making guest appearances here and there to promote her songs, writing and creating new material...she seems like the sort of person who has several plans in the air and is always looking to the next new project.

It was mentioned recently that one of those possible future projects might have her starring in a biopic of Joni Mitchell.

This is of interest to us, of course, because in his recent book, Graham Nash told of turning Joni over his knee and giving her a spanking.  It sounds, in fact, like it may have happened more than once.

So, if the biopic does get made, and if Taylor Swift does in fact play the starring role--might there be a mainstream on-screen spanking scene in Taylor's future?

We can only hope....

Two Days To Go

Christmas Eve

December 24th is a very busy time for Santa Claus.  There are always those last minute touches that need doing, and Santa has to pay attention to each and every detail.

For instance, he has to finish taking care of the "Naughty" list.  As you can imagine, this can take some time--

And, even though their work is almost done, he still has to make sure that the elves stay motivated.

While Santa can't keep tabs on all the elves that he lends out to department stores and shopping malls, he does make sure that each store manager has explicit instructions and how to deal with any naughty elves.  You can say what you want about him, but Santa knows how to delegate.....

I've just received word that Santa is finally ready to start his deliveries.  He's in the sleigh and is picking up the reins.  I hope he comes to see you very soon!  There he goes!

On, Thrasher!  On, Spanker!......

The Christmas Spirit

Christmas Day may have come and gone, but the Christmas spirit lingers on.....

Beating The Cold

Polar vortex?  What polar vortex??

And The Spankable Bottom Of The Week Is.......

After seeing some of the pictures that came out of the 2014 Golden Globes, I must admit I was all set to name Emma Watson  (better known as Hermione from the Harry Potter movies) as "Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week"--especially after seeing her in that Dior hospital gown...er, dress.  The gown looks normal from the front, but is open down the back.  Her back is bare, but she is wearing pants.

I figured I'd check out a few photos, find the most fetching photo of her bum, and that would be that.  Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that the pants were actually very loose-fitting.  There really isn't a single photo from the red carpet that shows her bottom off to advantage.

She still is "Dr. Ken's Spankable Bottom Of The Week", but I have to go back a few years to find a couple of pictures to illustrate it.

So there you have it--definitely spankable.  And Emma, if you're listening--you're a beautiful young actress.  You can afford to wear tighter clothing that shows you off!

By Any Other Name...

I know this is usually called "mooning".  I prefer to call it "just asking for a good spanking'!

The girl on the left should be spanked, as well.....for "most obviously fake reaction to someone mooning"!

My 6-year Blogiversary!!

Maybe it's because I've been somewhat busy and distracted.  Maybe it's the mind-numbing Winter weather we've been having.  Maybe I'm getting old (naw, it couldn't possibly be that!).  Whatever the reason, I managed to skip right by this blog's Anniversary date!

January 16, 2008.  I sat down in front of my computer after browsing through many a spanking blog and said to myself, "Heck, I can do that."  And now, 6 years later, I'm still trying to convince myself of that fact.  It certainly hasn't been as easy as I thought it was going to be--but it's sure been fun!

I find it hard to believe that this blog is (for the moment, anyway) still here, and Bonnie's My Bottom Smarts has closed up shop.  Bonnie was one of the first to bring attention to my blog by including it in one of her "New blogs" posts.  Amber "Pixie" Wells was another who exchanged links with me early on, which helped drive in some much needed traffic.  And, as always, I have to mention Dave of The Cherry Red Report who, if memory serves was the very first person to include me in their blog roll.

I also have to thank Chross for every now and then including me in his blogs "Spankings of the Week" feature.  A mention there and I see the number of visitors per day double, triple or quadruple over what I normally get.  Thanks, Chross, it's much appreciated.

And, of course, writing this blog has meant that I've had the chance to get to know--online, at least--so many other wonderful people who share my appreciation and enjoyment of This Thing We Do.  Thank you, Hermione, Ronnie, Veronica, Devlin, Michael and Season and all the others who drop by and leave a comment or two now and then and still manage to do such marvelous work on their own blogs.

It's a few days late, but "better late than never".  So roll out the barrel, strike up the band, and let's party!  I know exactly how I'd like to celebrate--any ladies care to volunteer for the festivities?

It's been a trip for 6 years.  Shall we try for 7?

Spankable Bottom Of The Week

Technically, it should Spankable Bottoms Of The Week, as the honor goes to three flight attendants from Spanko Airlines.  Remember, if they don't give you the service you deserve, you get to give them the spankings they deserve!  I hope you've purchased your tickets in advance, as these flights are always full for some reason.....

And then there's the pilot, Captain Willa St. Cyr.  She promises to get you there on time.  If the flight is late, or you miss your connection, every passenger gets to smack her with the Official Spanko Airlines paddle as they deplane....

So try one flight with Spanko Airlines and I'm sure you'll agree--the skies don't get any friendlier than this!